Ah, those elusive orgasms!

Posted by Bonnie Morgan on

Most women get them, but are there reasons why sometimes they do, sometimes they don't, sometimes they feel powerful enough to blow you through the wall, and other times they're subtle, gentle and soothing.

Ah, those elusive orgasms!

Position Yourself
Some sex positions lend themselves to more powerful and intense vaginal, G-spot or A-spot (located at or near the deepest point on the anterior wall of the vagina, above the cervix) orgasms. In a lot of cases, if a woman has her hips elevated on a pillow or with her legs resting on her male partner's shoulders, it allows both of them to be more comfortable and to optimally align for the best or deepest penetration angles. But since difference in height, size, weight or both partners and the shape and size of man's penis and/or a woman's vagina have a lot to do with making the perfect fit, play around with different angles and positioning to find the right one.

If keeping your hips and legs lifted in the air for an extended period of time seems like an arduous or tiring task, try using a sex sling or a "penetration station" for support. The feeling of being airborne or weightless in a sex swing can amplify orgasms for both men and women.

If you're a woman and prefer or can only get off through clitoral orgasms, doggie style is a great position in which you or your partner can tickle or massage your clit during penetration.

Vibrators are a Friend, not a Threat
Some women can't orgasm without clitoral stimulation, don't have vaginal or G-spot orgasms, or need to be physically aroused in more than one way to achieve an orgasm. Consider using a couples vibrator or a vibrating cock ring for hands-free enhancement for both him and her during sex.

Foreplay and Solo Play Orgasms
Women have the advantage of having multiple orgasms and not being one-and-done, especially during foreplay as well as with solo play. Guys, take your time with oral sex and digital penetration, not just to get her wet, ready and screaming for the main event, but to give her some extra pleasure and the thrill of seeing her squirm, wiggle or even gush. If you or your partner really gets off on clitoral or inner labia orgasms, even very light stroking or rubbing can bring on some profound orgasms. If you're open to using vibrators, a fingertip stimulator is a great way to double the fun.

Just about any vibrator can help bring on or enhance foreplay or masturbation orgasms – from the jackhammer of all vibrators, the Magic Wand Rechargeable, to bullet vibrators, which some women love for their pinpoint effectiveness.

Keep in mind that not all vibrators are created equal, and even vibrators at low speeds can be very intense or even relaxing. It's not just the amount of power behind the vibration, but the frequency of the vibration that can bring on quality orgasms. Think of how you react to high or low-pitched sounds. Physical vibrations also have the same kind of effect on your central nervous system and ability to orgasm.

Orgasms are a Reflection of How We Feel
Stress, fatigue, and some drugs (prescriptions, over-the-counter medications and "other" drugs) can have an effect on the central nervous system's ability to conduct or carry an orgasmic charge. So can alcohol, which is a physical and mental depressant. Some women even say that orgasm quality can vary depending on where they are during their menstrual cycle.

Know, Show and Tell How You Feel
Don't always be in a hurry to blame your partner's lack of ability for not achieving the big "O". If that's a problem, tell your partner how you like to be touched, penetrated and what turns you on. If you or your partner don't know what you like or what to do, read up on some tips that might take you from "'O' no" to "'O' my God!"

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